How to Kill Self Doubt
Quote of the Day
"Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, 'I'm possible!' " -Audrey Hepburn
Whether it's the Social conditioning we are exposed to all our lives... The direct Negative or Limiting comments thrown at us from friends and family... Or even worse, the limitations we place on ourselves... There is a "Glass ceiling" built above us for no other reason than, Doubt...
It seems whenever we try and achieve anything beyond our current circumstances... As we learn and grow, make decisions to better ourselves, our lives, our surroundings...
We face constant negative reinforcement, that it will never work
How is it possible to remove doubt from our mind and allow for personal progress?
That's what we are going to talk about today.
It is an unfortunate reality that regardless of what you are trying to become... You will inevitably find resistance. Either directly from the people around us, (friends, family, colleagues, strangers) or the pressure to conform to social normality that is overwhelmingly ever present in our society. To Overcome Doubt.. Let's first take a second to reach an understanding of why this limiting belief structure is pressed upon us.
"That won't work... The only way to success is to get a good job. Don't you know you can't do 'that'. Why are you even trying... Are you crazy... You're not 'that'... You can't be 'that', you're not good enough."
People continue to judge and express their wanted, or unwanted opinions upon us.. These opinions largely based on what they perceive the world to be, what is available and what they think is the "correct" way to live.
Taking a moment to reflect on what compels these individuals to convey these limitations and negativity toward us, helps eliminate one level of doubt from our lives...
The doubt instilled in us from others
Love, protection and social conditioning
We must consider that when others warn us "we are doomed to fail"... It may be coming from a genuine desire to help... Your family telling you that "you won't make it.. That it's not for you.. That it's too risky", is most likely a true concern for them and in an effort to protect you. To protect you from ridicule, from failure, from the financial or time loss that they believe is almost guaranteed.
While we trust the opinion of our peers and loved ones... We must consider this is a self limiting belief of their own, what they are really saying... "I can't make it, I wouldn't be able to do that, it's too risky for me and for this reason, I must warn my friend/family member that they mustn't do it too, in what is surely a disastrous venture"
Let's also consider, perhaps it's not their belief at all. Simply their interpretation of what they have been told and conditioned over and over throughout their lives of what is possible, correct or even what they think is popular belief, the conformist belief of the community. That in fact, this limiting belief that they are pressing on us is as simple as the opinions they have been told by others, literally regurgitated.
Although these first two are perhaps coming from a place of love, protection or regurgitated ignorance... This self limiting belief projected onto others is dangerous.
It contributes to a culture of fear... Of limitation.. Of the self doubt that squashes progress as an individual and as a community.
By recognizing that many friends and family want what is best for us and their warnings are only reflections of their own self limitations, we can happily thank them for their advice and move forward without delay.
Forced Self Reflection
And then there will be the others...
Those who want us to fail for the simple fact that by succeeding, we highlight their own lack of achievement. That whenever someone steps outside of the "box", tries to better themselves there is a tendency to try and discredit and ridicule. To advise that it will never work, not because they are in any way an authority on the matter... but simply because they are afraid if you make it.. It will bring to life the immediate realization that they could have, should have, been better.
That they have-not chased or achieved their dreams... That their acceptance of mediocrity in their own lives... their own self limiting belief structure... has stopped their progress dead in its tracks. That they have unknowingly chosen a life of safety and comfort instead of that of fulfillment, excitement and progress and now... you... attempting to break out... are pushing this into their face. This is almost a personal attack on them and without conscious thought, their natural reaction is to bring you down, back to their level... Back to the safety of the herd, back to the uninspired common life, the life of mediocrity.. How dare you try and leave... Who do you think you are?
In Australia we call this "tall poppy syndrome" when anyone who is more successful or attempting to be more successful is criticized for their efforts or success.
It is very important to identify
When I was starting out, countless people around me warned me of the "risks of starting an online business"... That it's "impossible" to reach 'that' level of success.. "Why bother... it's not going to work...You already have a good job... Why risk it? Things are fine.." Despite this very clear message from the masses (I want to keep this short) as time went on, through persistence, I made enough money to easily quit my job and live my life freely. Exactly what I was told by others would never be possible.
2 years after that, I made another very conscious decision to expand my business further. So what did this mean? It meant that it was required that I applied myself to my work again.., that I found consistency and focus again, and so people started asking... "What are you doing? It's "impossible" to reach that success.. "Why bother... It's not going to work, You already are doing so well... Why risk it? Things are fine..."
I had a level of success under my belt that almost everyone told me was NOT possible... Yet I had successfully achieved it. Now again, the same people... "well, yes, you did make it to that first level of quitting your job, flying around the world, the freedom of doing as you choose... But this.. What you are proposing now... Well, it's just not possible"
This isn't intended to be an "I told you so" but mealy to highlight the fact... That often the doubt instilled in us by others is not reliable... That even after success, you will come up against the same comments and pressure.
Anyone who is planting doubt in your mind is more likely than not, reflecting their own
So the first step to crushing Doubt...
Always remember to let go of others negativity and limiting beliefs. To let go of the social view of what is possible. There is no need to hold it against them, but simply understand that they are truly in a mind frame that it is not possible for them and that's ok... For them.
You will hear some people throw around "remove yourself from all your friends that are negative" I am not sure that I agree with that... How about... "I don't allow any negativity into my life, Friends or not." All that takes is an understanding of where people are coming from. Either a place of Love, Social Conditioning or Forced Self Reflection and regardless...
These are their limiting beliefs and never need affect us or our mission.
There are only 2 types of people that you should ever take advice from
- People that empower and believe in you.
- People who are already where you want to be.
DO NOT listen to any other advice
The person in the mirror
This person is without question, our biggest demon
When we look in the mirror perhaps we say things like... "You are failing... Everyone is going to find out that you're not good enough... You might as well quit now because it's not going to work. Why are you even bothering?"
Beating our own internal doubt, can be the hardest of all
There are a two things that require constant repetition in our minds... A daily reminder that...
1: What we are doing is possible. Where you are headed, people have been before. There are people in this world that have achieved what you are setting out to achieve.. others have done it, therefore, it is possible. Period.
2: It's not about who you are now, where you are now, what you are now... It doesn't matter if you don't think you have what it takes, now. If you are looking in the mirror and thinking... "I am not good enough because my results are not what I want"
Then you must instead say, "I am not good enough, yet." This is a very different phrase... a phrase of empowerment that sparks the action to progress and grow.
We know others have been there... We know that it is possible.
Your current circumstances are a product of who you are now... A combination of all the choices you have taken up until this exact moment... But luckily... you're not dead... Reaching your desired outcome often requires personal growth... It is required of us that we must develop to succeed... We must BE more in-order to HAVE more..
Who we are now does not affect who we can be... Nobody in the history of the world, ever started with all the skills to succeed. We were all born as an infant... everybody had to learn... Whatever it is that you are trying to achieve... People have been there before you. Appreciate your current Knowledge and Skills and understand that in-order to succeed, some growth is required.
Every day is a new day, a blank piece of paper. Regardless of your previous experiences... You can decide what you will focus on today. Skills can be learned... You can become more
The biggest killer of self doubt.
Results. Obviously... But, seriously. As you see your effort turn into results... Doubt is crushed and self empowerment and belief replaces it. If Self doubt is in your way... It's time to start truly appreciating small advancements in your goals. Celebrate any and all
You don't just arrive at success. It's not a place that you're Not, and then you instantly Are.
We make small advancements towards it over time. We lose weight in small amounts everyday until the goal is reached. We make money, a little at a time, increasing as our skills increase
Hypothetically, Let's say you want to have 100 of "something" (Dollars, customers, skills, anything) and you only get 1. It is time to celebrate that as a true indication that doubt can be removed... It is working! This isn't the "glass that is 99% empty"... This is a the "glass now 1% full!" Regardless of how far this seems from your end goal, remember to celebrate this success... no matter how small it is.
This attitude towards success will begin to lift the shadow of doubt over your head, that you are worthy of this success and that if you continue on your path, all these small achievements will compile and snowball and your self doubt will diminish... But... Only if you see these small advancements as a success.
You must celebrate all
"I have learned, I have direction, I see progression in my life and I am going to celebrate the success I have created so far... Not because it's a fulfillment of my entire dream, but because its its a building block towards that dream and I will use it to find motivation, to inspire more action and pursue my goal enthusiastically and relentlessly"
Optimistic Mindset
The person with an optimistic mindset.. The one that understands that they can change their lives with their beliefs and
Most likely you are already enlightened to the fact that there is more available in this world than your current circumstances. That you can Be, Do and Have more, and this belief alone... Is the most powerful asset you can possess. The belief that this is possible should not be understated.
This is possible. What you are trying to achieve... Is possible
Belief is necessary, Without it, we never try.
I don't believe I can fly (unassisted) for instance. My belief that I cannot step outside, put one arm up and take off into the air, is so deeply ingrained in me... I don't try... I don't go outside everyday practicing to fly, thrusting my arm in the air time and time again because I know... it's a waste of time... It's not possible.
It's not possible in my mind because no one has ever done it. It's a superhero story, one that is seemingly unattainable for humans,..
However, chances are, what you are looking to achieve... People find success in... We know that people are Fit, Healthy, Wealthy, Happy, Loving and Fulfilled... We know all of these things are in the realm of possibilities for us. For me, and for you. It has been proven time and time again that this is possible. Hundreds, Thousands, if not Millions of people have been there before, yet doubt creeps in... Why...? Why is doubt still present when it has been proven time and time again? Not because it isn't possible.. It clearly is... But because of the self limiting belief structure... That's it. Remind yourself that others have done it, and you can too.
Destroy doubt. Act like it is impossible to fail... Believe in yourself, that you can and will be more and succeed. Hold yourself today like that success is already yours... And it will be.
Take control of your beliefs and use it to take the appropriate actions that are necessary for success.
Pursue your dreams with strength and enthusiasm
The fact that you are reading this.. The fact that you are trying to be more means... Simply... You can. Use it... Remind yourself... Doubt shall not win.
You will crush doubt through celebrating small successes. Through making conscious decisions from those you take advice. That you will not be satisfied with mediocrity. That you always decide to be the best version of yourself and will pursue your dreams relentlessly. Doubt shall not win...
Disclaimer:
We love getting motivated, pushing toward our online business goals and sharing that news with others. Online business has changed our lives forever and found more freedom and choice than would have ever been available working at a job. So, while we might mention some results and just how amazing your income and life could become... that's in no way a guarantee of what you may achieve. In fact we can't make any guarantee of any results whatsoever because we don't know your level of commitment to your goals or your work ethic to get things done. That comes down to you and may impact your overall results. What we offer are the tools, training and traffic to build a successful business online, but it's up to you to be committed, have the discipline to show up, and make the most of what we are offering you.